the BIG deal?

the Big Deal?

It’s taken me a time to let the anger, despair, amazement, shock at how the Kavanaugh drama played out. So finally….

It showed in all it’s sordid glory and self serving sound bites, as well as the PUBLICANS fear of trump and the alternative country he’s sold everyone, how our ‘democratic’ system works. Haley’s the only one who gets it: term limits. There’s more but that’ll come later. We’ve seen the ‘way’ our rights are preserved, protected.

To me there’s a FAR bigger issue here. It only concerns Kavanaugh on the edges. It’s esp. disconcerting because it spewed from the mouth of someone should know better. Esp. when it comes to sexual abuse, terror, fear, powerlessness.

That issue is how Murkowski followed in the footsteps of ALL those men who supposedly represent us. They only represent the patriarchal umbrella we all live under. Murkowski is an example of how women, in order to survive and thrive, have to adopt cultural norms which are humanitarian we are assured. Yet when you kick that rock out of the way, what scampers, crawls, slithers away is hard to recognize as human, even as we are told things are changing. Just be patient. Hmmm. Sounds familiar to some of you I’m sure.

The issue is how Murkowski was able to so definitively say she believed something happened to Ford but it was another incident. ??? That’s what the PUBS said. A convenient way to ‘appear feminist’. ??? You can’t have it both ways! How can anyone KNOW another’s experience in these cases, hard as they are to fathom.

In a quick, short sentence they – McConnell, Graham, Flake – have managed to discount Ford’s experience, without even being there. At the same time showing their understanding of an issue which they, I think is safe to say, would have been the Kavanaugh, not the Ford.

More later. In meantime, donate if you can. We’re going to a MM symposium this weekend. Hopefully something will come out of it!


Shared Pain is Lessened
Shared Joy Increased

Eternal Vigilance?

Kavanaugh notes on hearing.


As our country grew, came to be united, there was primary concern, perhaps a carryover from the Monarchy we were escaping from, that today is rarely if ever discussed, in the terms used in the 18th century, particularly during the 1800 Election between Jefferson/Adams. To a man (of course all white males of the landed class) they feared the division of politics into a dual party system. I imagine, (though have not specifically researched yet) their fear was that if this occurred, their great democratic experiment would fail. (How Slavery was dealt with carries this curse as well). The single party system very quickly failed. Thus, we have a 2 party system which has slowly turned into a deep partisanship vehicle for favoritism, and to many, the Rich, and perhaps with Trump at the wheel, despotism. Then, we had the Jeffersonian common man theory vs. Adams, Monroe representative theory based on the idea only a few were capable of governing.

If it’s thought about we’re not told about either this split and/or the 2 theories of governing. We’re all one big happy country!!! Well, sort of, but not really.

Senate hearing for Kavanaugh clearly showed this split at the least to publicly displaying a nominee unable to control his emotions, respect for conflict, intractability on views when challenged, and to many, including myself, outright lying at worst, softening events at best.

What’s gone before is done. Based on his behavior, apart from his unpopular views, I do NOT want him confirmed. Would you want someone who behaved as he did to be responsible for YOUR life as the last resort in our system? I certainly hope not. And the things is, other choices are there! I’m not saying justices that support my views, that’s not what the Court is for (though it has become), but justices who are actually deliberative despite their own views.

Finally I will say, anyone who channels Trump behavior, in NO way deserves confirmation. Pages could be written about all this. Others can have at it. I’m just posting some thoughts that have filled my head, making me Mad, Sad, concerned. Do with them what you wish.

Devils Triangle
It appears he lied about this.

Questions his answer at the least. One definition means to intake substances via the anus.

Conservative Kennedy wonders about our Democracy

Rape as power over and oppression of
War esp. shows use of Rape as victor’s spoils and instillation of fear

Drinking Addiction, Alcoholism
One point belying Kavanaugh’s “occasional” overdrinking is his “weak stomach” comment. If one drinks to puking and then keeps drinking, you are an Alcoholic and Addicted.

I don’t think believing this, would reassure me if Kavanaugh was looking at my case.



Frat parties



Break time. Pardon any errors. Mine alone.


Random thoughts

Random thoughts on finding out – 6

Continuing story in the hope some small part may be useful to others.

62 yr m. MM4yrs. BMT. Darzalex/Pomalidamide/Steroids protocol maintenance.

Not chronological. Not sequential. Sometimes informational. Not always personal. Always truthful.

Okay. Finally. You’ve found out you have MM. Perhaps you thought this would be a relief. This is no relief. You might be angry. Fragile. Breakable. Pain all over. Unlike anything you’ve known. Suddenly scary tales bubble up about Cancer. Horror stories. You’re Scared. Pissed. Teary eyed. Flailing away for a handle. Or any combination of these. What you need is hope.

Doctors are hopeful. They’ve seen enough to understand and what happens. You’re condition is normal’ to them in the sense this is what they do. Like plumbers. They’ve experienced this. You haven’t. It’s brand spanking new. And since it’s CANCER loaded with more baggage than you think you can bear. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Stay present. It will be hard. You may wonder where all the tears come from. If you’ll ever be able to walk up stairs instead of crawling up them again.

Friends and family are sure you’re going to be okay. And of course everyone is sorry for you. Truth is Cancer SUCKS. Nothing can change that. And it sucks in ways you have yet to find out. Cancer is tricky that way. Just when you think it’s stable Voila! It mutates.

What you really need now is HOPE. Not platitudes. Not ignorant words. You’re the one with MM and finding hope in this condition is a place you never thought you’d be. There is hope. Little bits of hope are flying around everywhere, yet to be found by you, one more MM case. But your MM case.

MM is treatable. You’ll find that out over time. Until you’ve gathered all those pieces of hope up, now is your starting gate. You could almost say this is the time of your life. Because it is your life.

Depending on the stage of Cancer you’re in, treatment may start immediately or there may be some time. No matter what, you have much to do and you’re going to need all of yourself to do it. Don’t pretend about yourself. Honesty, though it can be scary, esp since the issues MM reveals often are new as well as deep, can actually be a source of strength.

Cry when you need to. Sleep if you want. And ask for help if you need it. Caregivers want to be involved. Think of things for folks to do. This involves them and helps them feel a part of your struggle. If it doesn’t feel like a struggle now, chances are it won’t be long till it does. This is no time to downplay. And you’re going to want and need help. Tasks as simple as walking to the car may mean you stumble more than walk. You’ll need a hand. When you can’t make the BR, having help cleaning up can turn an embarrassing situation into a comedy of errors. Who thought you’d ever wear diapers again?

How others respond to you can be shocking as well as revealing. It’s not up to you to protect them. Not only are there groups for patients, there are groups for caregivers. Many think being a caregiver is harder than being a patient. Every situation is different but you are not responsible for their feelings. Avail yourself of the resources available.

“I Was Devastated”: Tim Berners-Lee, the Man Who Created the World Wide Web, Has Some Regrets

I find it heartening that t the Inventory of the Internet, values the Democratic impulse more than the invention itself.

T here was a time I loved the web for it’s democratizing value. The world’s biggest library open 24/7. It’s obvious that has changed. Not to mention we paid tax dollars for it and corps have now taken it over and we are charged again. Oh the joys of rampant capitalism and govt run by money grubbers!